Think about things

Hii.. I'm back again with alot of reflects.. As I thought.. If I study art, maybe I will feel more durable studying here as the subject is what I have passion with..
Looking at the me now I only have one question pop out instantly: what am I doing here?
Well.. Every morning getting up feels like hell is waiting for my routine visits..
I don't know what I am doing and worst of all, I don't want to know
This is just not for me, not me.
I keep finding myself dumbfounded during lectures.. Hell.. At least I still can imagine what to say in art course, not this shitty report thing.
I WANT TO DRAW! I FUCKING NEED IT!
However, due to shit courses, they keep pulling me away from doing it
I crave for having this kind of excitement when I'm looking forward to my complete paper, my complete drawing, my complete beings.
This is just way too late to regret.. Or maybe not.
Whatever it is, I might not be able to find what I really good at anymore..
At the very least in high school I know I can draw something decent, but not now when I can't spend a lil bit of time to at least try to practice something I never done.

Second mistake of my life: coming to Singapore.
This. Is. Not. What. I. Imagined. It. To. Be!!
Well, since junior high school I already develop into an unsociable person.
At least when I'm at where I was, people know who I am and how I behave but not here.
I know we always have to try something new.
But new things not always good. At least uncomfortable. Mind you, VERY.
Because of my unsociable attitude I had lost my ability to communicate well, to talk fluently, to tell jokes, no need to mention to have fun with classmates.
Hell, that was me when I was in my country which still communicates using my first language.
But to the hell for now - ah.. I just went to hell, so now what? To the depth of earth? Good stuff - Everything gotten worse. Not only I have to speak in foreign language, I have to meet a bunch of heads I don't know and can't see through. Worst of all, I become mute and act like deaf.
Whatever, I hope 2012 really do happen therefore I don't need to be alive anymore..
I think suicide is not an option, thinking my parents back in home I think people who think of doing that haven't think further (well, I used to think avout suicide, but let's just pretend I didn't :trollface:)

Third point for today:
I, Sherley, will NOT get married nor have boyfriend!
Phew~ I'm just thinking I need to clarify this out to remind me my determination.

Fourth point! I hereby claim that I will visit this blog more often than previously. (I always forgot what I said, but this is for sure)
Why? Every morning I woke up feeling like.. P. diddy? Nah you bet.
No. I felt like shit. I mean real shit. Because I get this emotional over nothing! WTH?! This is the worst case of my life.. Crying over some images my brain produce. Fuck. You. Brain.
That's why I will make sure to post here about what I get so moody with in case I need to study it (like a reasearcher)

Last but nit least, have a good night babes.. And my kitty out there somewhere in hueco mundo (nah, what am I talking about?)
This is my kitty I doodle on my desk.. No eyes.. So what?

Okay then g~bye